THE GREATEST THING EVER!
by ConstructMan777
Summary: All your favorite music stars... hitting rock bottom!


**THE GREATEST THING EVER!**

"Say WHAT!" screamed Justin Bieber as he processed what the record producer had just told him.

"For the fifth time, Justin," the record producer said irritably, "Your music is _horrendous_!"

"How is my music horren…horren…horr…not that incredible? " He couldn't even bring himself to finish the word.

"For the love of…where do I begin…your songs are repetitive, you have the voice of a prepubescent chipmunk on helium, you look like a girl, and a homely one at that, you walk like a drunk Britney Spears, you are a talentless hack, and you seriously need to go away, and I mean right now."

Justin was utterly speechless. What did he do to earn such scorn and hatred? (Don't ask me, I don't know, nor do I care.) "C-come on man," he started shakily, "We both know you don't really mean that…"

If the record producer wasn't angry before, he surely was outraged now. What happened next was one of the loudest hate-filled tirades ever heard in the history of mankind, complete with profanity to foul to be used in public or private company, ending with him saying: "Get out of my face, get out of my office, get out of this bulding, and get out of music _**FOREVER**_!

"No way!" shouted Justin, his self-control gone, "I ain't leaving until I get my next multi-record deal!"

"Over my dead body! Security, get this popstar trash outta my sight!" the producer retaliated, even going as far as holding down punching Justin in the face repeatedly until security arrived. When the guards finally arrived to take him away, a battered and bleeding Justin said "You're asking for it man, you don't know who you're messing with!" The producer only laughed as Justin Bieber, former popstar, was taken away.

"YouTube News, Where the News comes last… and the Weather comes later!"

A television newscast blared out later that day. The title screen flashes to news anchors Richard Michael Alvarez and Matthew Thomas Pevensile, with Richard smashing the paper in his hands onto the table. "Hello, and welcome to the 43 YouTube News at 73 o'clock, I'm your anchor Richard Michael Alvarez." Richard said quickly. "And I'm your co-anchor, Lady Gaga, but you can call me Matt." said Matt as he said his ridiculous name."For the first time in my career, I have a genuine compliment, so here's the happy times of Weather with Chris." said Richard.

"Thank you Richard for that nice compliment. Today there's going to be a hurricane of Happiness with a chance of Moving up in the world." said Chris happily as he talked about something apart from the weather.

"Thank you for that uninformative, but very uplifting report, Chris. In other news, Justin Bieber was arrested today for flattening the tires on a record producer's car." said Richard.

"It seems he was trying to get back at the record producer for punching him in the face and ending his music career forever. " added Matt, "Upon his capture by the police, Justin started crying uncontrollably and whined for his mommy. He also wet his pants."

"Personally, I feel that Justin Bieber had worn out his welcome a long time ago."

"Chris, you took the words right out of my mouth, you…very nice and important person."

"Nice save there, Richard. Now we're going to Dane who has some breaking news."

Dane appears next to a police cruiser, where the cops are struggling with a raggedy-looking young woman.

"Thank you Matt, I'm standing next to a police cruiser, while the police are fighting what appears to be another former superstar."

"Dane, just who are they trying to arrest?"

"Well Richard, the person they're trying to arrest is actually Miley Cyrus also known as Hannah Montana by little girls enslaved by Disney."

"Dane, could you get a word from miss Cyrus on why she's under arrest?"

"I'll try." Dane gets closer to the scuffle and points his microphone to Miley Cyrus. "Miss Cyrus, could you tell us why you are currently under arrest?"

"Apparently my music is now outlawed in all fifty states and in Puerto Rico, but this is no way to treat me!" said Miley as she was being manhandled, "_I'm just an ordinary girl, like me, like you…_" Miley was then struck over the head by one of the officers' nightsticks and then forced into the cruiser.

"Well there you see it, how the Miley have fallen. Back to you, Richard."

"Thank you Dane, now we go live to Julian, who stands outside a Jonas Brothers concert."

"Thank you Richard, I'm standing here outside what was supposed to be the Jonas Brothers' first stop on their worldwide tour, but soon turned horribly wrong."

"Julian, just how horribly wrong did the concert turn out?"

"Well Matt, the concert started out normally, then Demi Lovato jumped onto the stage, finally calling Joe out on the way he dumped her."

"Really, Dane? What happened afterwards?"

"Afterwards, Taylor Swift jumped on as well and started on how Joe dumped her. Soon every girl Joe Jonas dated jumped onto the stage and attacked the entire band, leaving nothing in their wake."

"Wow, Julian, that sounds incredibly dangerous."

"I just called like I saw it, now I better go before they want to kill me."

"Alright then, thank you Julian."

"Hold on, I'm getting a call from Joe Jonas himself. Joe, what is your opinion on what happened?"

"Well Richard, I don't know why they attacked me. " Joe claimed, "When I broke up with Taylor and Demi, I think they took it nicely."

"Joe, the ways you broke up with them were spineless at best, and then you bashed Taylor in your song "_Much Better_" multiple times.

"I don't see the problem at all."

"…You broke up with Taylor for Camilla Belle, but the bad thing is that you broke up with her over the phone."

"…"

"And for Demi…you got your dad to break up with her for you… don't you think that's a little… cruel?"

"…No comment."

"I see. It seems that the band has changed for the worse in recent years, any comments?

Silence.

"Joe? Are you still there?"

"Richard, I'm getting a call from Joe, he said to tell you that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore."

"What! That inconsiderate, unmannered little… and you Chris… how dare you be his messenger boy!"

"But Richard…"

"Silence! You'll get yours in due time, and so will Joe Jonas! Mark my words!"

"Wow Richard, that was stupid and psychotic."

"All I have to say to that, Matt, is shut up!"

"I guess that all teen pop superstars' careers are going down the tubes."

"Exactly, Chris, and we don't care a bit!"

"Yeah, we got a news show, we got a news show!"

"I couldn't agree more, Matt. Well that's the end of YouTube News, good day!"

A random bum had this to say: "TEEN POP SUCKS!"


End file.
